Wait! Before you rush to hit the unsubscribe button, this isn’t some cheap, hacky ploy to get, well, I don’t know what that would get actually.
But there is an actual setting in the just-released Cyberpunk 2077 game to, uhhh, adjust your junk, as it were. There, alongside hair style, eye color and teeth is the option to pick your… penis. And the game leaves nothing to the imagination. It’s all right there.
I’ve been a writer by trade for decades. Journalism. Screenplays. Comic books. Marketing copy. I’ve written just about everything, struggling and straining to come up with the exact sequence of words that will, uhhh… do… something, something.
Anyway, I bring it up because even though I am familiar with the intense pain videogame writers go through when crafting intricately plotted narratives — I will not hesitate to skip a cut scene. As soon as the action stops and some high priestess starts in on a backstory about an alien spaceship crashing millennia ago, I hammer away at the circle button like I’m working morse code on a sinking ship. Get me outta there.