Synth Stab

Look. I’m gonna level with you. The whole reason for this section of the newsletter is so I can type out loud:

MORTAL KOMBAT!

And then have imaginary synths jump in as we all think about (and dance to(?)) the theme song to the very not-great 90s feature film Mortal Kombat, which, I actually saw in theaters. You know, the Mortal Kombat where French guy Christopher Lambert plays a character based on a Japanese thunder god. (It was a different time, the 90s)

And yes. I know that I used that exact same Mortal Kombat song sting in last week’s newsletter. And yes, that is super hacky, and totally lacks editorial polish. But! How was I to know that the trailer for the NEW Mortal Kombat movie would be released this week?

That’s right, the gory videogame has gotten what appears to be an equally gory film adaptation coming to HBO Max on April 16th. WARNING: the trailer contains gruesome FINISH HIM moves.

Obviously this 2021 version is a more faithful, if that is the correct word, adaptation of the original videogame, which shocked parents and gobbled up quarters back in the early 90s with all of its skull crushing, de-limbing and spine ripping outing.

I remember playing the game at the University Center in college, and not even having that much fun because I couldn’t remember the correct up > down > left > left > kick button combo to complete the FATALITY. It was actually more fun to watch others play.

Which is why I’ll probably check out the new Mortal Kombat movie. It’s still the pandemic, and I’m still staying home and the movie is streaming straight to my TV, and well… maybe second time’s the charm. Film adaptations of videogames typically work, right? I mean, The Rock wouldn’t have starred in a bad Doom movie.

But if you’re looking for more blood, guts and bone beyond MK franchise, then maybe you should check out Hellish Quart. PC Gamer says the swordfighting game is actually a lot of fun.

Quick sidenote: One of my favorite authors is Neal Stephenson (oh, a middle-aged white guy who works in tech likes Neal Stephenson! How unique). Anyhoo, a few years back Stephenson raised half a million bucks on Kickstarter to make the swordfighting game, Clang.

Stephenson is really good at writing hyper-realistic-tech-heavy fiction. Spearheading a videogame? Not so much. Stephenson’s Subutai corporation, like so many crowdfunded projects, ran out of (other people’s) money and called it quits on the game.

The only reason I bring that up is because Hellish Quart is a real game, and was made by just one guy, and he’s not even an author who is super famous with middle-aged white dudes. I mean, Hellish Quart looks like it was made by just one guy, but still, hats off, man.

Hellish Quart is like every other fighting game. There are various characters representing various styles of fighting. You square off against another opponent. Someone dies, though in Hellish Quart, it’s because someone sliced an artery, and, given the time period, sepsis probably set in. I haven’t played it yet, but that’s because it’s on Steam, and I’m more of a console guy.

But since it’s only $17 bucks, maybe you can take a stab at it. Ugh. That’s more hacky than repeating MORTAL KOMBAT (synth stab!).

Image via Microsoft

More Headlines

Xbox has a stylish new gaming headset — and you can preorder it now – This wireless headset actually looks pretty cool, and they’re only $99. Now you just need to get an Xbox Series X to go with them.

Nintendo Direct: Splatoon 3, Skyward Sword and more trailers to watch – A recap of what happened at Nintendo’s online event this week.

Fortnite is getting its own short film festival this weekendFortnite continues to be more than just a game. Too bad Epic Games didn’t buy the Oculus VR, we would be so much closer to actual Snow Crash (another Neal Stephenson reference, and the most basic Neal Stephenson reference, to boot!).

Rustler (Grand Theft Horse) is a cheey, Medieval take on GTA – Click to watch the trailer.

That’s it for this week. Thank you for reading!

Stay cool. Have a great summer. Class of ’90 rulez.

-Chris @ 40 Bit

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